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Mar. 5th, 2015

(no subject)

Accidental all nighters because I couldn't find my knife are the best kind.

At least once a week, I do this. Why do I lose the knife? I can't sleep unless it's there. It's like a teddy bear but one covered in spikes and I need it. People have their comfort items and a warm body. I have my razor knife with the yellow and grey handle. And also a warm body but I don't dare snuggle because he's a violent sleeper who swings upon half-waking and doesn't discriminate. As much as the lack of symmetry in my jaw bothers me, the small lump from a healed fracture, I'm not actively seeking to even the sides here.

On the plus side I indulge myself in fanfiction when this happens. So at least when I inevitably collapse I'll have a stupid grin on my face.

I am deeply upset that I can't go looking because if I do everyone will load me with chores that don't actually need doing and waste my energy so I won't be able to shower because I'll be slumped in a chair by noon. Again. You know, since fucking Sunday.

My stomach is a pit of anxiety and I just want to feel it closed up and sitting right on my collar bone. It is 8:52am and I've been in bed since 10pm. I just want sleep.

Aug. 9th, 2004

(no subject)

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March 2015



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